Home Page - Goulding SleepTalk

On this site we will often refer to the people who use Goulding SleepTalk as "carers." We know that now, more than ever, there are many people who care for children who are not necessarily the child's or children's biological parents. Should this apply to you, "carer" could mean; parent, parents, mother, father, stepfather, stepmother, adoptive mother, adoptive father, guardian, grandmother, grandfather, auntie, uncle, nanny, or anyone else who cares for the children that they love. You know who you are and we thank you for this most important of responsibilities.

Sleep Talk is the widely used name for the bedtime process developed by Joane Goulding and first used within her own family.

At its core is a brief, structured routine in which a parent makes quiet, carefully chosen statements around the time their child is falling asleep. The approach is intentionally straightforward, designed to become a calm, consistent part of everyday family life.

This routine does not replace affection, conversation, reassurance, boundaries, or standard parenting. Instead, it complements these by offering parents an additional way to reinforce messages of love, acceptance, and emotional safety.

Over time, others have referred to the approach as a process, method, program, or bedtime routine. While the wording varies, these descriptions all point to the same underlying body of work, which is now presented as the Goulding System.

The Problem

"I consulted professionals, doctors, psychologists and educationists. The overwhelming feedback was that there was something wrong with me! I was not parenting her effectively. And I was dismissed with little to no support. I was inflamed, outraged and stigmatised. I was doing my best, for God’s sake! And I knew in my gut that their assessments were wrong. But I didn’t know where to go to get help."

Read More in the FAQs

The Diagnosis

"...she underwent a new assessment by an independent educational psychologist, who concluded that my treasured baby had cerebral palsy, very likely caused by the birth process. Dyspraxia and dyslexic along with an emotional and intellectual IQ of around 45."

Read More in the FAQs

The Turning Point!

"The turning point in our understanding came when we were driving past an empty paddock one day with Michelle in the back of the car when she became very excited. We couldn’t work out why she was so enthusiastic pointing to the empty paddock. It was an empty paddock, after all!

Later that evening when we reflected on it, we realised that just a few weeks before there had been a big, bright and colourful circus on that same spot, and our intellectually challenged daughter had accessed a memory at the moment that she saw the paddock that had been stored in her unconscious, and had tried to talk about what she was remembering."

Read More in the FAQs

After facing criticism from health professionals, Joane was relieved to find she was not at fault, but it came at a high cost—years of heartache, agony, and significant financial impact. She had invested a lot of physical and emotional energy seeking answers for Michelle's problems.

Even still, discovering Michelle's severe handicap was overwhelming for Joane. Despite a diagnosis, little help was available. One doctor even suggested leaving Michelle in a home.

Joane realized that because Michelle felt a sense of not belonging, of being disconnected due to her disability, Michelle was frustrated and expressed herself the only way she could, through anger.

Then one day on an afternoon drive, a glimmer of hope emerged when Michelle showed she had an awareness of what was going on around with that empty circus paddock.

With support from Jim, Joane explored ways to work with Michelle, especially at night when she was asleep and most receptive. The process was born, thanks to Joane and Jim's unique professional advantage. Over time the concept has evolved and is now known as Goulding SleepTalk.

The happy ending: Joane and Jim Goulding developed the Golding SleepTalk routine, and it has been shared with thousands of families around the world, and Michelle now leads an independent life.

Like them, many caregivers on this site have struggled to find solutions for their child's problems. Despite seeing numerous professionals, they often find no resolution, even resorting to prescription medications. Fortunately, some discover Goulding SleepTalk and see immediate changes.

As mentioned earlier, Goulding Sleep Talk System came about because Joane Goulding faced difficulties with her daughter Michelle.

When Joane shared her method with other parents dealing with their children's issues, something became clear.

Many parents found that after a few weeks or months, the main problem, the "Primary Area of Need," became much less of an issue and sometimes disappeared.

Yes, some children still needed direct help for their problems, but in many cases, the issues simply vanished after a short time.

It seemed like the idea of "All You Need is Love," just like the Beatles song, actually worked!

Even children without any apparent problems became happier, more affectionate, with spontaneous hugs and expressions of love and happiness. It was quite incredible!

"I am very embarrassed to be writing to you, so long after I completed the Sleep Talk course with you.

"If you remember, at the time I was pregnant and had a 6 year old boy named “A” and and a 4 year old girl named “S”. I now also have a gorgeous 1 year old baby girl named “O”...

"Perhaps the most obvious and remarkable thing of all is the reaction that baby “O” has to the Sleep Talk words.

"When “O” was only a few months old, I tried to put her down into her cot without cuddling her to sleep, and this change caused her to cry and become quite distressed.... I started to softly repeat the Sleep Talk sentences.

"Even through her now piercing screams, the words and the tone of my voice obviously struck a distinct memory within her – as I had begun Sleep Talk when I was three months pregnant with her.

"The crying immediately stopped and “O” swivelled her head towards me and gazed up in wonder. I really have never seen anything like it.

I kept repeating the sentences over and over until she calmly got herself off to sleep!

"Since then I have been using the Sleep Talk system with “O” and she truly is the most happy, contented and calm little baby."

Read the full testimonial

As we discovered, simply saying the Foundation Statement resolved the "Primary Area of Need" problem in many cases. Even children without problems became happier and more affectionate when exposed to the Foundation Statement.

Surprisingly, the Goulding Sleep Talk Foundation Statement was reported to be heard and remembered by babies still in the womb—an incredible finding!

We now understand Sleep Talk benefits all children, including those with or without apparent problems, and even unborn babies. Implementation can begin as early as 18-20 weeks into pregnancy, once a baby's ears develop and they can start hearing sounds.

Obviously, while the baby will not grasp the meaning of the words, it seems instead, they find comfort in the familiarity; the soothing tone, and simply recognizing their parents' voices.

It seems the newborn associates faces with those sounds they have heard in the womb and over a short time, learns the simple words of love and happiness that are already embedded at the deepest level of their mind.

Joane and Jim Goulding Were Not Usual Parents

As you may have guessed already, Jim and Joane weren't your everyday usual parents.

They were both clinical hypnotherapists and had a college where they taught hypnosis and hypnotherapy.

Because they knew that the unconscious mind is a reservoir of thoughts, feelings, desires, and memories that can influence a person's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

They also knew the unconscious could be directly accessed at certain brain wave patterns, and one of those times occurred during sleep.

Through their understanding of the conscious and unconscious mind, Jim and Joane created Goulding Sleep Talk, a system that has changed countless lives.

But before we talk more about the Goulding Sleep Talk System, we need to discuss the "Mind." The Mind is very complex, but in this instance we'd like to discuss just two aspects, the "Conscious mind" and the "Subconscious Mind" (sometimes referred to the unconscious mind."

The Conscious mind is anything that is in your current awareness. The thoughts and feelings you are experiencing at the moment, and your awareness of your current environment are all part of your conscious experiences.

Some people find it helps to think of the mind as an iceberg, with the conscious mind being the smaller portion that is above they water and obvious, while the subconscious mind, considered to be the majority of an individual’s mind exists below the surface, hidden from obvious view.

What is the Subconscious Mind?

If your conscious mind is your awareness, then the subconscious mind is below awareness, hence, subconscious. While some professionals use the terms of subconscious and unconscious mind interchangeably we will be using subconscious to mean below consciousness.

The subconscious mind holds thoughts, feelings, desires, and memories not actively in awareness. It crucially shapes thoughts, emotions, and behaviors without conscious realization.

These hidden processes influence actions and decisions without any conscious thought. The subconscious significantly impacts the conscious mind. The subconscious mind is literal, present-based, non-critical, absorbs all inputs, and doesn't process negatives.

Our experiences and upbringing contribute to beliefs shaping perceptions and reactions. For instance, if someone hears they're not good enough growing up, this belief embeds in their subconscious, affecting self-esteem and choices.

The relationship between the subconscious and conscious mind is dynamic. While the conscious mind decides deliberately, the subconscious impacts decisions by filtering information, triggering emotional responses, and introducing biases.

Sometimes, individuals may not fully grasp why they feel a certain way; this can be due to the subconscious mind's influence. Recognizing the subconscious mind's importance is crucial for personal growth and therapy.

Techniques like psychoanalysis and hypnotherapy aim to bring subconscious thoughts to consciousness for understanding and potentially modifying deep-seated beliefs.

The Goulding SleepTalk, (some will say is similar to hypnosis), communicates directly with the child's subconscious mind.

But unlike hypnosis which occurs while the client is awake, Goulding SleepTalk Method is a process that occurs during sleep. And importantly, parents don't need a hypnotist to interact directly with their children's minds.

This makes SleepTalk a potent tool for parents!

The Goulding Sleep Talk System is substance-free, safe, and an ethical process for parents to use at home. It's done while children are asleep and is easy to implement.

The Sleep Talk System lets a child's subconscious mind adopt positive suggestions during sleep, shaping a more positive mindset upon waking. It's a simple process for every parent wanting their children to reach their full potential and reaffirm love.

Sleep Talk involves parents working with their sleeping children, promoting a positive mindset upon waking.

The Foundation Routine (what you do) and Statement (what you say) was now perfect. There is no way to improve on it.

It no longer needed modification. It covered everything a child needed to know and provide a solid foundation for life - that they are loved and they are happy!

With the same script being used for all children, coaches could make comparisons on various factors, but the foundation script was a constant. And changes started to occur, without the need for more complex scripts.

Parents often comment, "Why can't I do it on me?"

As we gained more experience with Goulding Sleep Talk System, coaches soon realized that every child would benefit from this simple 149 word statement of Love and Happiness.

Over time, Goulding Sleep Talk Coaches found that for many of those children that have issues, many only needed the Goulding Sleep Talk Foundation Routine.

Interestingly, the problems the children had that had been of concern to the parents seemed to have become much less of a problem, and in many cases, disappeared completely.

After implementing the initial Foundation Statement statement for 3 months, it was observed anecdotally that around half of the children's "Primary Area of Concern," the main reason those SOS "Parents" searched online for help online - stopped being a concern.

Now, every Goulding Sleep Talk coach starts every the Goulding Sleep Talk child with this exact same message, regardless of whether they present with a problem, whether they appear to have no problem at all, or even if they are unborn!

And it's so straight forward to implement, it is available as an eBook, and should there be no improvement, there are always the professionally trained coaches to work with.

But whether you're starting with an ebook or with a Goulding Sleep Talk coach, every carer, regardless of their reason for implementing Goulding Sleep Talk, is asked to say the exact same 149 words while their child sleeps.

So, when we hear about Goulding Sleep Talk, a technique for parents to communicate directly with their children's minds, it's crucial to understand that Goulding Sleep Talk is exactly the opposite.

There are no drugs and Goulding Sleep Talk isn't about changing a child's beliefs; it's about nurturing their emotional resilience and self-esteem by tapping directly into the child's subconscious mind while they sleep and letting them know that they are loved unconditionally.

The Goulding Sleep Talk system acts as a shield, like a computer's firewall, keeping negativity out and helping children build a strong foundation of self-worth based on love and happiness, resilient against the pressures of the modern world.

Peer pressure can be one of the most challenging aspects of a child's life. They often face pressure from friends to conform, sometimes even when it goes against their values or better judgment.

The Goulding SleepTalk can serve as a shield against these negative influence by reinforcing a strong sense of love and happiness.

SleepTalk empowers children to resist unhealthy peer pressure. When they believe in their own value and abilities, they are less likely to succumb to negative influences that may lead to risky behaviors or compromised values.

There are any number of websites that are specifically designed to pull your child in. And, of course, your child's friends and their friends are on them too. Unfortunately, some of these people—and others—will lurk there, and sadly, their twisted life mission is to destroy other people's lives.

Empowered by a cloak of anonymity, these cowards and bullies let their ugliness and viciousness out, cyberbullying your child on the web and encouraging others to join in.

The impact of cyberbullying can be severe and long-lasting, affecting not only the emotional well-being of the victim but also their social relationships and academic performance. Children may become isolated, anxious, or depressed, leading to low self-esteem and avoidance of online or offline activities.

90% of teens in the US believe cyber harassment is a problem.

15% of young cyberbullying victims would prefer to keep the issue a secret.

Students are almost twice as likely to attempt suicide if they have been cyberbullied.

80% of teens say that others cyberbully because they think it is funny.

37% of bullying victims develop social anxiety.

59% of US teenagers have experienced bullying or harassment online.

14.5% of children between the ages of 9 and 12 have been cyberbullied.

66.3% of tweens tried to help the victim of cyberbullying.

You can read a summary of statistics from 2023 here

Harm may also be caused by the overwhelming exposure to all types of marketing, and the images within this marketing, that children and adolescents experience. For example, a review of research found a consistent relationship between advertising exposure, materialism, and parent-child conflict. Furthermore, a meta-analysis found that advertising and other media portrayals depicting the thin-ideal for women are related to a negative body image among women and girls. Therefore, there is concern not only for the negative effects associated with the marketing of unhealthy products (ie, food, alcohol, and tobacco) but also for the negative effects associated with the way marketing exposure in general may influence how youth view material possessions and themselves.

Read the full paper at AAP here.

Social networks, powerful platforms facilitating connections, reveal a disturbing dark side rooted in the exploitation of people for the profitability of corporations. Beneath the veneer of seemingly harmless interactions, concerns escalate as these companies prioritize revenue over user well-being. The exploitation of children involves manipulative algorithms, addictive features, and the extraction of personal data, all serving to maximize profits.

For example, Meta, the company that owns, Facebook, Instagram, Threads, and WhatsApp, thrives on cultivating addictive usage patterns and leveraging the vulnerability of young users. Acknowledging this profit-driven exploitation is crucial to understanding the darker consequences of social networks in the context of corporate interests.

“Meta has harnessed powerful and unprecedented technologies to entice, engage, and ultimately ensnare youth and teens. Its motive is profit, and in seeking to maximize its financial gains, Meta has repeatedly misled the public about the substantial dangers of its social media platforms,” the complaint says. “It has concealed the ways in which these platforms exploit and manipulate its most vulnerable consumers: teenagers and children.”

The suits seek financial damages and restitution and an end to Meta’s practices that are in violation of the law.

Meta’s own research that found that the company knew about the harms Instagram can cause teenagers — especially teen girls — when it comes to mental health and body image issues. One internal study cited 13.5% of teen girls saying Instagram makes thoughts of suicide worse and 17% of teen girls saying it makes eating disorders worse.

Read the full article at APNews here

In response Meta replied " ...and have already introduced over 30 tools" to support teens and their families.”

30 tools! Meta assumes that parents know they are there and how to even find them. Wouldn't it be better if Meta actually cared for our kids and no tools were required?

And then there are the other Social Networking sites, including the popular site TikTok. TikTok is Chinese owned and thus we know little about it.

Here are a few points raise by sobering article by The Guardian Newspaper.

Studies show that when chronological feeds are discarded in favor of suggested content, the algorithm frequently gives rise to more extreme views. One report in 2021 showed more than 70% of extremist content found on YouTube was recommended to users by the algorithm. And it incentivizes users to share attention-grabbing content that gets picked up by the feed.

In recent years, TikTok has faced intense scrutiny for dangerous challenges the algorithm has given rise to. The “Benadryl challenge”, wherein participants took a large amount of antihistamines in an attempt to produce hallucinogenic effects, led to at least one death.

Read the article at the Guardian here

There is a list of these commonly used sites here.

The internet, while an incredible resource, also has a very negative side. It is all too easy to expose children to a wide array of dark influences like pornography and hate sites, shrouded in a pervasive fog of misinformation.

And it's frightening enough while children are just exploring the internet and randomly stumbling onto a website. Yet, lurking in the depths, an even graver peril emerges—the haunting nightmare of parents. Predators, insidious and cunning, infiltrate every digital nook, their evil presence intensifying on social networks,

There are predators who are directly communicating with your children to abuse them in many different ways. It could be taking pictures and sharing them with other pedophiles. Or much, much worse.

These predators can be found all over the internet, and have been online almost from the start. Social networks have made it easier for them to access your children. These predators assume deceptive guises and exploit vulnerabilities. They manipulate familial disputes, siding with the child, eroding trust until the day they coax them into the physical world, to a clandestine meeting with their newfound "friend." The horrors that emerge from this evil interaction embody every parent's deepest fears.

This is an article by the FBI, from 2011.

“It’s an unfortunate fact of life that pedophiles are everywhere online,” said Special Agent Greg Wing, who supervises a cyber squad in our Chicago Field Office.

When a young person visits an online forum for a popular teen singer or actor, Wing said, “Parents can be reasonably certain that online predators will be there.”

It is believed that more than half a million pedophiles are online every day.

“The younger generation wants to express themselves, and they don’t realize how vulnerable it makes them,” Wing said.

Pedophiles go where children are. Before the Internet, that meant places such as amusement parks and zoos. Today, the virtual world makes it alarmingly simple for pedophiles—often pretending to be teens themselves—to make contact with young people.

Tagtmeyer and other cyber investigators say a relatively new trend among pedophiles is to begin grooming youngsters through online gaming forums, some of which allow two-way voice and video communication.

Read the article at the FBI here

The constant barrage of negativity targeting children, from sources like peer pressure, cyberbullying, advertising, social networks, and even sexual predators, can lead to stress, anxiety, and negatively impact their self-esteem.

However, a secure and supportive home environment plays a crucial role in mitigating these external influences. Children who feel valued and content at home are better equipped to resist superficial allure.

Goulding Sleep Talk System serves as a shield against these negative influences by fostering a foundation of self-worth.

It doesn't alter a child's beliefs but nurtures emotional resilience and self-esteem.

This method operates during a child's most receptive hours—while they sleep. Rooted in love and happiness, parents recite a simple script conveying the powerful message, "You are loved, and you are happy."

So rather than "Brain Washing", this positive message acts like a "mind cleansing," countering day-to-day negative forces and providing an antidote to unwanted influences.

Goulding Sleep Talk empowers parents to reclaim influence, ensuring their children know, at the deepest levels, that they are loved and happy amid the challenges of the modern world.

The founders, Joane and Jim Goulding, developed the Goulding Sleep Talk System for their profoundly disadvantaged daughter Michelle - with literally life altering results for their entire family.

You can read more about their experience in the FAQS

Now the Goulding Sleep Talk process has been evolved and expanded to deal not just with the conditions Michelle suffered, it has been used effectively by thousands of families around the world over the last 40 years for almost any issue you can name.

The Goulding Sleep Talk System is particularly helpful when dealing with issues such as:

Aggression, behaviour management, stress, fear, anxiety and trauma.
Hyperactive, hard to control, nervous, agitated or explosive temper
Separation anxiety, fearfulness or general lack of confidence
Feeling troubled about divorce, parental separation, adoption and abandonment or other issues at home
Education and study, co-operation and concentration
Health issues such as asthma, bed-wetting, nail biting and speech
Sibling rivalry, negative communications, bullying, school refusal and even PTSD
Having trouble sleeping or experiencing nightmares
Fears and phobias
and much, much more

We cannot stress enough how important it is to follow the A, B Cs". Remember professional help is at hand!

The ABC of the Goulding System

Accuracy - Belief - Commitment

The Foundation Statement is simple, but its effectiveness depends on how it is given.

The words matter.

The timing matters.

The repetition matters.

Accuracy

Accuracy means following the Foundation Statement as it is given, with the timing observed as
closely as possible and the wording kept intact. Speak it calmly, gently, and with full attention,
allowing the rhythm of the words to remain quiet and unhurried.

Belief

Belief means trusting the process and the quiet power of repetition. Bedtime matters, the routine
matters, and if a night is missed, you simply return the next evening and begin again.

Commitment

Commitment means staying with the system long enough for the message to settle and take root.
Change is often gentle and gradual, built through calm repetition over time.

Why so much repetition? Have you ever heard how it takes a certain amount of time to develop a new routine into a habit?

In 2009 a study done by psychologist Phillipa Lally to find exactly how long it takes a new habit to form. The research suggested that it it can be anywhere from 18-254 days. On average, the research suggests it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic. The exact number she arrived at was 66 days.

We accept that this research doesn't necessarily apply to Goulding Sleep Talk. Remember, sometimes change may occur as early as the next day with Goulding Sleep Talk.

But what this research does support, is that there is a minimum time for a behavior to become permanent.

Anecdotally, parents and consultants have found that when the parents are consistent with the outlined Goulding Sleep Talk System, permanent change is much more likely for the suggestions of the Foundation Statement after 3 months. We've also found that when parents develop the routine into a habit, it becomes an enjoyable and ongoing nightly ritual, much like that last check to make sure the children haven't kicked off their covers.

If the parent commit to each night -- where missing a night is a rare occurrence -- and are prepared to consistently do it over three months (and even longer) there will be change. If after 3 month period carers are not seeing the "Primary Reason for Support" diminishing, then we would urge the parent to talk with a coach for further advice.

Are You Ready to do SleepTalk?

The Goulding SleepTalk SleepTalk process is a straightforward procedure done each night after your child has been asleep for a short time. It takes less than 5 minutes of your time.

We'll teach you the best time to do it and we give you an easy read script that will become a part of your life.

If you haven't already done so, do check out what the Parents and Professionals have said, and also some of the questions raised by parents and answered by Joane Goulding, the Founder of the Goulding System of SleepTalk.

You have absolutely nothing to lose!

Even though some people see results after just one night, we ask you to do Golding SleepTalk System for 3 months to make long-term change.

To match this request, we offer a 90 day refund, which is the same time you need to do the Goulding SleepTalk Routine and see results. And we put our money where our mouth is!

If you are convinced there have been no changes, we'll refund 100% of your payment.

So, what do you think?

Would you like to make a positive difference for your children? Try Goulding SleepTalk now. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!